The Mistake You Must Avoid When Working on Your Life and Career Goals
[reading time: 4 minutes]
On the first week of July I spent a few lovely days remote working in Venice.
And I made a mistake.
The typical one for those who set ambitious goals and have a high sense of responsibility.
This mix can be devastating if we are not aware of it.
During my breaks, while strolling through the canals, I constantly thought about my goals: the next task, the next priority, how to tackle the next obstacle.
I found myself in the trap that entrepreneur Naval Ravikant calls “Nexting”: the tendency to always live projected towards the next milestone or goal, without ever enjoying the present moment.
Maybe it happens to you too:
you have a project to deliver
a master’s degree to complete
a promotion you want to achieve
problem to solve
You can't stop thinking about these goals and the next thing to do.
Day and night, on weekends and during vacations.
24/7.
A torture.
You are unable to turn off our minds and enjoy the small pleasures of the present moment, not even when you decide to take a break to recharge.
Even worse: you decide to use the break to work, thinking “I'll get ahead” or “I'll get this off my plate and then I can enjoy the well-deserved rest” 🤦🏻♀️.
The reasons are many and can vary from person to person.
Personally (and the same goes for some of my clients), I was raised with the constant repetition of “duty first, then pleasure” by my parents.
I developed a very high sense of responsibility, which pushed me to always give my best and achieve excellent results in school and work (yes, I'm a real nerd 😂).
Unfortunately, this high sense of responsibility follows me even in moments of rest, when I could allow myself to relax and enjoy small moments of happiness.
I have been conditioned to link my happiness to the achievement of my goals.
No one (I don't know about you) taught me to be happy during the journey to achieve my goals.
The consequence of always thinking about goals?
We risk becoming victims of two dominant emotions: stress and anxiety.
The journey towards our goals becomes a hell we want to escape from quickly, to check off the to-do list and reach our coveted ambitions.
We end up working on autopilot, exhausted, and losing motivation.
While reflecting on this trap I was falling into, I remembered a phrase I had read in the book The Code of the Extraordinary Mind (a great read, I recommend it):
Have big goals, but don’t tie your happiness to your goals.
Be happy now.
I wrote it on my iPad and called it my “Reminder”.
I decided that whenever I catch myself unconsciously thinking about my goals and the future, I will take out my digital notebook and read this phrase.
Several times.
Out loud or silently.
Admiring a beautiful Venetian canal.
Watching the sunrise or sunset.
While running or meditating.
Watching my mother knead the dough, my husband read the newspaper, my dog play in the park, the swallows darting through the clouds.
Until the anxiety and stress fade away.
To grant myself the freedom and pleasure of fully savoring the present moment, knowing that day by day, I am working with dedication towards my goals.
During my Venetian walks, this reminder worked very well.
And you know what? I found that in the work slots I had more clarity, lightness, and productivity.
Surely a single phrase will not solve all the difficulties related to goals, but it is a valuable tool that I love to keep in my toolbox, ready to use whenever I need it.
If you feel like it, tell me, by replying to this email, if you also suffer from goal-related anxiety/stress and if you have a reminder (or other tools) that help you return to the present. I’m curious!
Until next time!
Cheers,
Silvia
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